I didn't realize how much of a "marriage blog" this has turned into until I went back and read some old blog posts from around this time last year. Robert and I had a good laugh at all the anti-dating, anti-men, anti-marriage posts I had. One after another, after another! Truth be told, it was exactly how I felt back then! I didn't know someone like Robert was going to come into my life and change all my perspectives on dating and relationships and my preconceived notions about what marriage is and what it should be. It was definitely a shock...and sometimes I am still surprised at how quickly it happened.
I'm grateful he took the ever growing amount of bitterness out of my heart and replaced it with love. I haven't lost track of who I am and all the things that make me tick. In fact, I think being married has helped me reconnect with my center and all the hobbies and things I enjoy. What is even better is that this man encourages it all.
I have a deeper appreciation, passion and excitement for the theater. I have been rekindling that love ever since I returned to the stage in 2009 and it is now an even bigger part of my life thanks to him.
I quit my job as a sales associate in a call center selling food storage to actually hunt for a job I would enjoy and delight in. I'm hoping to return to the fashion/retail industry because I yearn for the aesthetic and interaction with people I have things in common with. Thanks to Robert's support I will say goodbye to my job the day before we leave for our road trip.
After Robert completes stunt school, the plan for me is not only finish my last semester of college (that is if I passed this last semester---ooi) but to also go through an intense makeup training so I can create a business and charge for services I've been doing for people since high school.
I'm obsessed with Pinterest as of late (follow me) because it infuses my creativity and is helping me come back in contact with the artist in me.
I guess what I want to say is, the old me from two years ago isn't dead just because I got married. I write about my current affairs and feelings and experiences--more of which happen to be very husband focused--but truthfully, the old me has had some wonderful additions made to her life and some pretty awesome discoveries have been made.
Life is what you make of it. Whether you're single or married. Life can be wonderful if you choose to make it so.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, April 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
...I truly do rejoice in other's success.
Once upon a time, I met a young man in the singles ward. The ward I am once again attending now that I am currently living at home. He was 7 years older than me but that didn't bother me. I ate up the wisdom and life experience he shared with me out of the palm of his hand. I wasn't in love and I didn't pretend to be. But I was intrigued. No, infatuated. No, not even that. Just...interested. That's the best word I can come up with. I was definitely interested in him. There was something though that kept me from falling. Kept me from even thinking about the word "dating." He was in a band. A really, really legit band, but a band nonetheless.
I'm not ashamed to admit that this was the reason I never let things progress. And really, I guess in retrospect, who's to say it would have amounted to "something." I think he was interested partly because I was never a true "groupie." I didn't live at the Tree House like the others. I didn't sit and watch them rehearse and write for hours like Kat, Melissa, and Sylvia did. I had my own things I was doing.
However, I did go to their shows. A lot. I went to house parties. A lot. I hung out with the band. A lot. I even have some of their scratch tracks. Looking back, I could have been way more into it if I wanted to be. Despite my extreme naivety, I may have unintentionally led him on a little. But only a little because I think deep down he knew I was young and flighty and had no idea what I wanted in life and where I was going. Hell if I even know now.
Fast forward a couple years.
I had no idea how big they had gotten. No idea. He's hardly ever in town, but when he is, we'd have casual conversation. He'd never mention the rise of success, he's too legit and humble for that. It wasn't until tonight, randomly stumbling upon their latest music video on facebook that had an MTV logo in to corner, that I realized their success. I hit up his facebook profile to see current photos, hit up their website...you know, typical stalker stuff. But I don't even consider it stalking because that's truly how good of friends we were.
So the reason I even took the time to write all of this, is to apologize. Apologize for not getting it. I get it now. I didn't understand that you can't expect to reach your dreams, whatever they may be, by just going for it partially. You have to put your whole self into it. That is what he did and I didn't get it at the time. Now I do. I'm happy for them. No, happy is an understatement. I only associated with them for a brief time, but I can say that I am proud. They signed with a major label. How many people can say they were once good friends with a band? I know it's not uncommon, but I never thought I would. And that is exactly what I'm sorry for. I wish, when I had the chance, I could have been more supportive. Because I've learned that support is all I need to get by. I learned a great deal from them, and now I'll be able to continue to learn and be inspired by them from a far. Way to go guys. I will continue to rejoice in your success.
I'm not ashamed to admit that this was the reason I never let things progress. And really, I guess in retrospect, who's to say it would have amounted to "something." I think he was interested partly because I was never a true "groupie." I didn't live at the Tree House like the others. I didn't sit and watch them rehearse and write for hours like Kat, Melissa, and Sylvia did. I had my own things I was doing.
However, I did go to their shows. A lot. I went to house parties. A lot. I hung out with the band. A lot. I even have some of their scratch tracks. Looking back, I could have been way more into it if I wanted to be. Despite my extreme naivety, I may have unintentionally led him on a little. But only a little because I think deep down he knew I was young and flighty and had no idea what I wanted in life and where I was going. Hell if I even know now.
Fast forward a couple years.
I had no idea how big they had gotten. No idea. He's hardly ever in town, but when he is, we'd have casual conversation. He'd never mention the rise of success, he's too legit and humble for that. It wasn't until tonight, randomly stumbling upon their latest music video on facebook that had an MTV logo in to corner, that I realized their success. I hit up his facebook profile to see current photos, hit up their website...you know, typical stalker stuff. But I don't even consider it stalking because that's truly how good of friends we were.
So the reason I even took the time to write all of this, is to apologize. Apologize for not getting it. I get it now. I didn't understand that you can't expect to reach your dreams, whatever they may be, by just going for it partially. You have to put your whole self into it. That is what he did and I didn't get it at the time. Now I do. I'm happy for them. No, happy is an understatement. I only associated with them for a brief time, but I can say that I am proud. They signed with a major label. How many people can say they were once good friends with a band? I know it's not uncommon, but I never thought I would. And that is exactly what I'm sorry for. I wish, when I had the chance, I could have been more supportive. Because I've learned that support is all I need to get by. I learned a great deal from them, and now I'll be able to continue to learn and be inspired by them from a far. Way to go guys. I will continue to rejoice in your success.
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