Day Five

Day five

I've been husband-less for five days now. And for those of you who are sick of me writing about my husband's absence, I'm sorry just come back and read my blog in three weeks because I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll write about it!

I think the worst is over.

Sunday night was THEE worst. I had a meltdown and called my mama at like 1am to sob to her about how lonely I was and how Robert wasn't missing me and how he's going to love being away from me so much and not want to come home. All not true of course...but at 1am...your brain does weird things.

Mama made me feel more at ease. She said all the right things. She is a pro at this, seeing as my dad served in the military and is also pilot. She was alone at night many, many times throughout her marriage.

So I took her advice, knelt down and said a prayer...and waddya know. It worked. It really, really worked. I don't remember feeling so much peace during a prayer or having answers so quickly. What a tremendous blessing it is to be able to communicate with God through prayer. I know He hears and listens and cares and knows of my every struggle and heart ache. Aside from that, I know He will in fact answer your prayer(s) when it is right for you. I'm so grateful my mother invited me to do something, I already should've done, because it was exactly what I've needed.

Ever since then, my mood and spirit has been on the up and up!

Today I went to my female doc to try to have an IUD put in. Since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer again, I felt impressed to look for non-hormonal birth control options while Robert and I await our childbirth years. Well, they say the percentage of women that can receive an IUD prior to childbirth is very small. There are very specific criteria that must be met and for most women, if you haven't given birth yet, it won't work. Lucky for me it worked!! It worked it worked it worked!! I'm now off hormones completely and will be able to relax and not have to worry about birth control each month (or the crazy tears and outbursts and emotional breakdowns). I feel so blessed because I haven't felt any pain discomfort at all. Also very rare. What a blessing. I feel so grateful.

I am getting busy on some super special surprises for Robert's return. I'll keep you posted. ;)

Man, I just wish I had all the money in the world so that I could do all these little decorating projects. They may be small and inexpensive DIY projects...but $30 projects add up over time!

I'm planning to write an update about Robert and his experiences so far in school. Stay tuned for that!

-jazara

...a memory lasts forever.

As a young girl, I loved looking through my grandmother’s cedar chest. It was heavy and large and for most of my life sat at the foot of my parent’s bed. It stored a variety of things and through the years my mother has added some of her own items to the collection of unique jewelry, vintage dolls, and homemade baby clothes; including her own wedding dress. At a young age I learned that the things inside were of great worth to my mother as these possessions were all she had left of my grandmother besides memories. I loved listening to her tell me story after story about grandma Evva and often heard the words, “Emily dear, you would have loved her. You would have loved her so much.”
The cedar chest now sits in our family room because it’s much too big for my parent’s bedroom and it acts as a bench when my little nieces and nephews come over to play. It isn’t opened as frequently, but each time I do, I’m flooded with vibrant memories of my childhood as the fragrance of aged antiques wafts through the room. The values bestowed upon me through the stories and memories my mother would share have had a great impact on me and I feel that this cedar chest is a symbol of those principles. Over the course of 24 years I have met many admirable people, had wonderful opportunities unfold before me, and experienced difficulties that tried my faith. These random memories accumulated over time hold great value and significance to me and I can't wait for the day when I too will be able pull out my own stories and memories from my own cedar chest in hopes of influencing someone for good.

*Jessie Wilcox Smith image that my mother used to have hanging up in when I was little.