...I'm moving on.

I have loved this song since Kelly Clarkson sang it at one of her concerts. It moved me so much you could even say that it opened a door to love the country band Rascal Flatts. I know, right?

Well I was thinking about how moving on feels. At times, it feels confusing and scary because you're not entirely sure what you're "moving on" toward. I'm moving on and I'm trying very hard to focus on the great parts about it. Though sometimes the anxiety of change gets the best of me and I break down for a moment, ultimately, I know that where I'm headed is better than where I've been. I know it. 

"The hardest part of moving forward, is not looking back." - Felicity

Isn't that so true? Especially when you're in the midst of change. Looking back while you're in the midst of change is always risky because it might keep you from pressing forward. It's looking back once you made it over that next little bump that is so wonderful because then you think, Man! I am so glad that now I'm here. I made it and I was crazy to think that things were better back there.

I am overjoyed to see people close to me moving on too. Yes, I'm talking past relationships. I'm really happy to see them finding happiness with someone else. It makes moving on for me even better because I know they are too. 

The truth is, I struggle to let great things go for greater things. It's hard for me, okay? But I'm learning. I'm moving on.

"I'm moving on. At last I can see. Life has been patiently waiting for me. And I know, there's no guarantees...but I'm not alone."

-Rascal Flatts

...saying goodbye, though not forever.

I reflect often about the people in my life and I am so blessed to have so many. So blessed in fact that my reflections usually lead me to tears. Many have branded their love, example and memories on my heart and it's almost too overwhelming to think about. I have always been told that friends will come and go. The seasons change as do the reasons we need each other. We move on. I have always had a hard time with this. A really hard time. I am usually rather quick to love people. I can't help it, I'm a blue. But I forget that not everyone is like me. I sometimes feel like it's everyone else who is moving on except for me. I'm left on the path we once walked side by side, immobile, gazing up ahead at those in the distance.

I have thought about this post for a long time now. It's been in the back of my mind since school started because that's when I started facing the truth. Started acknowledging that it was happening even though I hoped that maybe it would just go back to the way it always was.

But we're just not in the same place anymore.

I served my purpose as a best friend and I'm not needed the way I was before. I all I can do now is give a supporting wave and heartfelt smile when you turn around every so often to look back. I'll be here. Always.

xoxo-JZ

...other people always say it best.

So much for love I guess
We been wronged but it's alright
‘Cause I’m moving on

I've got my car all packed
With cassette tapes and suitcases
And loose change and cheap cigarettes
I'm gonna stop at every truck stop
And make small talk with waiters and truck driving men.
I'm gonna fall asleep in the backseat
With no one around but me and my friends

It's gonna be so great
It's gonna be just like my wedding day

Yeah I’ve had enough of love
It's been good to give up so good to be good to myself
I'm gonna get on the highway with no destination
But plenty of vision in mind
I'm gonna drive to the ocean
Go skinny dipping blow kisses to venus and mars
I'm gonna stop at every bar
And flirt with the cowboys in front of their
girlfriends.

So much for love I guess
I've been wronged but it's alright
‘Cause I’m moving on

I'm gonna drive over hills and mountains
And canyons and boys that keep bringing me down
I'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine
Drink good wine at vineyards
And get asked to dance
I'm gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by
Never ever again

Rosie Thomas
"Wedding Day"
Album: When We Were Small